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Maha Shivaratri – Desire, Love, Devotion, Commitment, Freedom

I love a good holiday - one that invites us to contemplate deeply, to call for our inspiration, to bring form to our desires, to bring forth the expression of our deepest longing. Last night (and today) is one of my favorite holidays. It is Maha Shivaratri - the Great Night Of Shiva.   In India, this is a night of great celebration and deep meditation. The tradition is to fast and stay up all night, to commune with the [...]

Broken With Golden Seams

I wake up in the mornings and I wonder - how could this dystopian sci-fi novel that we are living through get any crazier? There’s no way! And then it does. Every day holds another ridiculous twist in the plot, which makes this book seem so over the top. And then the psycho, comic book villain, ridiculous orange monster from the sewers is put on steroids. I mean…    Some days I feel drained. Like nothing is left in me [...]

In The Bog Of Determination

Somewhere between tenacious will power and sleepy eyes, between fierce desire accompanied by horse power determination, and spiraling down the road of 2020. Somewhere between a steadfast destination and the abyss beneath our feet.    Eyes tired. Chest tight. I breathe slowly and have another coffee, trying to stay awake for a little longer and get some work done. It’s not even the lack of sleep. I am usually an energy fireball. Give me coffee and I can move like [...]

The Fig Tree

The kids have been climbing on a tree in the back of the house. Before Covid, we never considered our back area to be a back yard. It’s where we park the cars. And have a garage we use for storage. We share the space with our landlady. There are a few plants out there. And three young trees by the side of the house.    Since the beginning of Quarantine we’ve been parking the cars on the street. The [...]

Waves Of Change

I clearly feel the transformation. It’s slow but hot. Smokey and non-linear.    I can’t help but seeing the opportunity that this crisis holds in its hands. “Here,” It says. “It’s not gonna seem like a gift. In fact, there’s gonna be some hell to burn through. But if you seize the opportunity, and unwrap the outer layers, and after a lot of suffering for a lot of people, you will unpack the box, you will find some new seeds [...]

Quarantine Queen

How are you feeling these days? Are you sinking into this time? Are you flowing with it? Rolling with the punches? Itching to spring out of it? Dreading what awaits on the other side?   I find myself NOT wanting to go back to “normal.”    Ever since quarantine began, I have been less stressed, less depressed, less on edge.   I feel guilty about it because so many people are suffering.   I miss my parents and my sister [...]

Corona Cocoon

From Quarantine Queen, Mindful Mother, Domestic Dame, Goofy Goddess, Mama Magic, to: “SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”   Waves. Cycles. Spirals.   Patient. Present. Strong. Stable. Fluid. Fun.   Bitchy. Broken. Sensitive. Stuck. Wavering. Wondering…   When I rock the covid (the new lifesty, not the virus), I feel grounded and giving - a source of support. A resource of steadiness. A sorceress - alchemizing the situation. Bending the boundaries to tend with tenderness [...]

Not Alone

You’re doing it all.  You’re never alone. Making sure they sleep enough and eat well and get some time outdoors and enough exercise, fresh air, and fresh ginger tea. You’re ordering organic veggies from farm fresh.  You try to avoid the supermarket, but every week there are a few things you really need, so you brave it, and you go.  You’re cooking so many meals a day, your hands feel numb. You’re weeding the little piece of earth you can’t [...]

Corona School

Last week was harder.    By Thursday I woke up in the morning and I was a mean mommy.     I really tried not to be.    During the night and into the early morning Shefa wasn’t letting me sleep. He woke up so early and used his special rooster voice. That voice he likes to use on those really early mornings when I am especially exhausted.    Some mornings, even if he’s waaaaay too early to be awake, he [...]

Post Equilibrium – Contemplations For Unsteady Times

Twice a year we get to experience the balance between day and night, darkness and light. Equinox is a moment in time that offers a glimpse into equilibrium. Many people treat balance as a goal. #balance #lifegoal But let’s face it -  balance only exists here and there for a split second, and then it tips over towards more of one thing, and less of another.    Equilibrium is a state in which polar energies are balanced. It offers the [...]

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