fear

The Fig Tree

The kids have been climbing on a tree in the back of the house. Before Covid, we never considered our back area to be a back yard. It’s where we park the cars. And have a garage we use for storage. We share the space with our landlady. There are a few plants out there. And three young trees by the side of the house.    Since the beginning of Quarantine we’ve been parking the cars on the street. The [...]

Inter-covid-nected

We’re in this together. My actions are woven into your airways. We’re in this together. Your lungs and mine - breathing each other’s fate.  We’re in this together. Your actions directly influence my pulse.  We’re in this together. My life and yours. We’re in this together.  Which is why it pains me when I encounter carelessness and insensitivity.  When so clearly greed is the leading force behind so much of our world.  When it seems like for some people, others [...]

Corona Cocoon

From Quarantine Queen, Mindful Mother, Domestic Dame, Goofy Goddess, Mama Magic, to: “SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”   Waves. Cycles. Spirals.   Patient. Present. Strong. Stable. Fluid. Fun.   Bitchy. Broken. Sensitive. Stuck. Wavering. Wondering…   When I rock the covid (the new lifesty, not the virus), I feel grounded and giving - a source of support. A resource of steadiness. A sorceress - alchemizing the situation. Bending the boundaries to tend with tenderness [...]

Not Alone

You’re doing it all.  You’re never alone. Making sure they sleep enough and eat well and get some time outdoors and enough exercise, fresh air, and fresh ginger tea. You’re ordering organic veggies from farm fresh.  You try to avoid the supermarket, but every week there are a few things you really need, so you brave it, and you go.  You’re cooking so many meals a day, your hands feel numb. You’re weeding the little piece of earth you can’t [...]

Post Equilibrium – Contemplations For Unsteady Times

Twice a year we get to experience the balance between day and night, darkness and light. Equinox is a moment in time that offers a glimpse into equilibrium. Many people treat balance as a goal. #balance #lifegoal But let’s face it -  balance only exists here and there for a split second, and then it tips over towards more of one thing, and less of another.    Equilibrium is a state in which polar energies are balanced. It offers the [...]

Today, On COVID-19

This morning the kids were fighting during yoga. Kesem was really upset because Shefa wasn’t practicing with us. She cried and yelled. He wanted to do his own thing and she couldn’t accept it.   They played beautifully later. She read to him. And they built things. They made art. They hugged a lot.    We still have lots of food. Although I’m starting to feel Anxious about what’s coming next. Will the stores stay open? The box of vegetables [...]

Reformation In Isolation

It was hard to get out of bed this morning. Dark and cold outside. I wanted to get up before everyone else, so that I can have a moment for myself to meditate, but it didn’t happen. So I meditated with the kids staring at me. They tried to be quiet, but most of the time they forgot about the quiet contract that they signed when they decided to sit on the couch in the living room while I meditated. [...]

In The Crazies Of Now

Somewhere between fear and disregarding the facts. Somewhere between dismissing the seriousness of the situation and total panic.  Between freaking out and mocking the freak out.  Between hysteria and being cautious.  Somewhere between believing everything the media says and believing it’s all a conspiracy.  Between blaming it all on pharmaceutical companies and desperately begging for a test. Between the lies of the president and the truth smacking us in the face.   Somewhere between sheets of toilet paper, on top of [...]

Weeds

She’s sitting on the bench by the dinning table, hair a little messy, lots of missing teeth, a crazy wide spread of artist markers - a hundred and twenty colors and shades, to be exact. She’s working on an elephant. Fifteen shades of gray. Muse-struck.    “Mama?” her eyes are focused on the curving lines of her elephant trunk.   “Yes, my love.”   “I have all these bad thoughts in my head.” The trunk she’s working on is playfully [...]

Cosmic Love

Whether he dances in the forest of my heart, howls in the dark nights of my soul, meditates on mountain tops inside my head, retreats to his cave, takes the seat of the teacher, or roams the cremation grounds of my life’s deaths, Siva is by far my favorite masculine deity.    (not a gender thing, but rather a code, an energy, a coalition of qualities)    I am a sucker for metaphor. Myths and archetypes help me understand myself [...]

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