Domestic Goddess

Corona School

Last week was harder.    By Thursday I woke up in the morning and I was a mean mommy.     I really tried not to be.    During the night and into the early morning Shefa wasn’t letting me sleep. He woke up so early and used his special rooster voice. That voice he likes to use on those really early mornings when I am especially exhausted.    Some mornings, even if he’s waaaaay too early to be awake, he [...]

Cosmic Love

Whether he dances in the forest of my heart, howls in the dark nights of my soul, meditates on mountain tops inside my head, retreats to his cave, takes the seat of the teacher, or roams the cremation grounds of my life’s deaths, Siva is by far my favorite masculine deity.    (not a gender thing, but rather a code, an energy, a coalition of qualities)    I am a sucker for metaphor. Myths and archetypes help me understand myself [...]

When Epic Turns Subtle

I used to practice a few hours a day. Every day. Deep backbends. Arm-balances galore. Most of my day was spent upside down. Hip openers and forward bends took me into the eye of the storm that was me. I’d get high on oxygen with all that pranayama. I’d drive around town and take multiple classes a day with amazing teachers. I drank in the yoga, not in goblets, but in buckets. It was profound.     Sometimes I’d get a [...]

Death & Decay

It’s that time of year again - the peak of Fall, tipping over the midpoint between Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. Darkness is gaining momentum. The days are getting shorter and shorter, faster and faster. Nights are growing longer. Death and Decay spread wide through the natural world now.    We are being pulled down. Guided to be lost beneath the surface of the earth, beneath the surface of our lives. Down and deep and in to the underworld. To [...]

Your Calling

I hear the call: “Mama!” Coming from the bedroom. It’s almost 9pm. I just finished cleaning. I’m having my evening coffee and finally sitting down to write.   “MAMA!"   It has only been an hour since I transferred him to his bed from our cuddle pile.    I’m feeling resistant. Common, title dude! I need a minute! I was with you all day. I’ve been ON. You’re a toddler. It’s non stop. Give mama a break, will you? I [...]

When The World Breaks Inside Your Heart

The Amazon forest is burning and there’s nothing I can do about it. Tears in my throat. Smoke in my eyes. I feel so angry. Furious. Depressed. Suffocated by the inability to do anything. Petitions. Prayers. Whatever, right? It’s exhausting to marvel at how powerless we are.   It seems as though the Bolsonaros and the Trumps and the Netanyahus of the world are winning.   I’ve always been a doubter, cynical, a bit edgy, and a little jaded. But [...]

“You can have it all!” is a lie!

You can’t!   My goddess, I used to live by the idea that the only limitations are the ones we create in our minds. I was young and naive. And honestly, I had no idea what I was talking about.   Oh! The humility!   Before I became a mama, and even through the first couple of years, I really believed that I could do it all. That I could continue to blossom in the career I had worked so [...]

With Great Freedom…

The other day I was driving with the kids back from the beach. Rush hour. We took the small streets, trying to avoid big traffic. The light was turning golden, and the way that it moved through the branches of the Jacaranda trees was spectacular. Still some purple woven through them. Dance in their stance.   I reached for my water bottle and took a sip. Sand. Sand in my teeth. You’re gonna maybe think I’m weird, but in that [...]

Born This Way – Blessings And Bummers Bound Together

A contemplation and a tale of Summer Solstice    We’re slow on weekend mornings. The kids try to get us out of bed. We refuse. It starts with our toddler. He has very sophisticated ways to try to get us to get up. Like screaming really loudly in our ears. Or sit on our heads. Or pull on my nipple. Or drop a water bottle on Andrew’s head. Then his sister comes to the rescue. And she has a lot [...]

Time Bending

What’s the area of your life that feels the most out of control for you?   I can name a few things here. We really are in control of so little, aren’t we? But if I had to choose the one main thing, it would be Time.   It’s the heartbreaking beauty of watching my kids growing up so fast, too fast, perfectly appropriately on time, I guess, but too fucking fast!!!! There’s a letting go that needs to happen [...]

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