Death

Reformation In Isolation

It was hard to get out of bed this morning. Dark and cold outside. I wanted to get up before everyone else, so that I can have a moment for myself to meditate, but it didn’t happen. So I meditated with the kids staring at me. They tried to be quiet, but most of the time they forgot about the quiet contract that they signed when they decided to sit on the couch in the living room while I meditated. [...]

Cosmic Love

Whether he dances in the forest of my heart, howls in the dark nights of my soul, meditates on mountain tops inside my head, retreats to his cave, takes the seat of the teacher, or roams the cremation grounds of my life’s deaths, Siva is by far my favorite masculine deity.    (not a gender thing, but rather a code, an energy, a coalition of qualities)    I am a sucker for metaphor. Myths and archetypes help me understand myself [...]

Where Whole Becomes Holy

As the light dims, and the hours of darkness expand, the temperature lowers, and the desire to spend less time outdoors increases, we are moved by nature’s guidance indoors and inwards.   The rhythm of this season is slower. It inspires contemplation. It invokes meditation. It ignites the fire in the cave of our dreams. The spirit of the season guides us into a space of less doing, and more being, where we can enliven our creativity by releasing and [...]

Death & Decay

It’s that time of year again - the peak of Fall, tipping over the midpoint between Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. Darkness is gaining momentum. The days are getting shorter and shorter, faster and faster. Nights are growing longer. Death and Decay spread wide through the natural world now.    We are being pulled down. Guided to be lost beneath the surface of the earth, beneath the surface of our lives. Down and deep and in to the underworld. To [...]

Falling

Fall Equinox is upon us! The first day of Autumn. A moment of balance between day and night. A celebration of harvest. A holiday of letting go.   Fall teaches us to fall apart. Gracefully. To release what we tighten ourselves around. To let go of what lets go of us. To shed layers that no longer belong to our path. To free up some space as we rid ourselves of old ways. It takes time before renewal takes place. [...]

Living With Intention. And Totally Winging It.

My friend was wrapping a pink ribbon around a flower crown. “I don’t think about it too much, I just live.” She said. I felt a little surprised by that statement. Especially because, well, I do. “Omg! I think about it so much!” I said. I felt myself judging myself for being the way that I am. I thought: “She must think I’m such a freak!” I kind of am.   I don’t think about this often, but I do [...]

Inspiring Death

There are people that inspire you even through their death. Rare souls that manage to make death seem manageable. Or beautiful. Holy. Sacred. Beings that gift you the secret of life as they transition into what comes next. Maybe you were so lucky to have them swim close to you in the ocean of your life. They were your people. And their presence was always awe inspiring for you. And also your everyday reality. And maybe they were just a [...]

Changing Landscapes

As we drove up the mountain, watching the landscape change rapidly – from golden California brush, with a splash of green here and there, to greener and greener carpets of trees and meadows covering the dramatic rise of the Sierras – I became present to the changing landscape of my life.   In the back seat a fifteen months old baby, on the verge of falling asleep, crying the last few tears of a long stretch of tiredness and screaming, [...]

Obviously aging is a privilege

Obviously.   Obviously aging beats the alternative.   Obviously aging is a privilege. A luxury. The gift of life itself.   Obviously the beauty myth lives strongly in our culture, and the idea that youth is superior to aging permeates every nook and cranny of modern society.   Obviously this shit messes with our heads.   But isn’t it also natural to grieve the end of a life phase, and the death of a major part of our identity?   [...]

You Are Timeless

You are timeless. Infinite. Eternal.   But you look in the mirror and there are lines that show the sign of the passing time. There’s a wrinkle in time. Many wrinkles, in fact. And that spacious conversation about eternality you had with yourself during meditation earlier this morning is erased. Fuck! You are definitely finite.   You make another cup of coffee so you can keep up with your to do list. You’re not even getting to your to do [...]

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