Maha Shivaratri – Desire, Love, Devotion, Commitment, Freedom

I love a good holiday - one that invites us to contemplate deeply, to call for our inspiration, to bring form to our desires, to bring forth the expression of our deepest longing. Last night (and today) is one of my favorite holidays. It is Maha Shivaratri - the Great Night Of Shiva.   In India, this is a night of great celebration and deep meditation. The tradition is to fast and stay up all night, to commune with the [...]

In The Bog Of Determination

Somewhere between tenacious will power and sleepy eyes, between fierce desire accompanied by horse power determination, and spiraling down the road of 2020. Somewhere between a steadfast destination and the abyss beneath our feet.    Eyes tired. Chest tight. I breathe slowly and have another coffee, trying to stay awake for a little longer and get some work done. It’s not even the lack of sleep. I am usually an energy fireball. Give me coffee and I can move like [...]

Between Fear & Fearlessness

It’s an edgy scene on the shady side of town. Pandemic, financial distress, social justice demands met by more police brutality, violations of human rights, the growing horror that is the orange menace in the white house, the post office, the future of our children, the planet, the shaky foundation so many of us are walking on right now, the lies, the disregard of facts, the unknown, the actual danger of the virus, and the world as we have known [...]

Pixies & Purge

I am out in the back with the kids. They are playing with water and mud. Slippery and covered in childhood memories. The hot afternoon california Summer sun dancing on their faces with rays of youthful sparkles.    I am playing Pixies. The bluetooth speaker vibrating in the cup holder of my camp chair. “Hey! Been trying to meet you... Oooo ooo oooo ooo ooo…” Memories of cold nights on platform shoes, outside the clubs in Jerusalem of the 90’s.  [...]

Breakthroughs & Boundaries

In these last few months we have been given one opportunity after another to look at who we are, to ask ourselves who we want to become, to view the way things have been, and to reconsider our participation in this world.   In one way or another, we have been forced to pause. We have been invited into a space of self reflection.   In this pause we get to ask. We get to not know. We get to [...]

Quarantine Queen

How are you feeling these days? Are you sinking into this time? Are you flowing with it? Rolling with the punches? Itching to spring out of it? Dreading what awaits on the other side?   I find myself NOT wanting to go back to “normal.”    Ever since quarantine began, I have been less stressed, less depressed, less on edge.   I feel guilty about it because so many people are suffering.   I miss my parents and my sister [...]

Inter-covid-nected

We’re in this together. My actions are woven into your airways. We’re in this together. Your lungs and mine - breathing each other’s fate.  We’re in this together. Your actions directly influence my pulse.  We’re in this together. My life and yours. We’re in this together.  Which is why it pains me when I encounter carelessness and insensitivity.  When so clearly greed is the leading force behind so much of our world.  When it seems like for some people, others [...]

Corona Cocoon

From Quarantine Queen, Mindful Mother, Domestic Dame, Goofy Goddess, Mama Magic, to: “SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”   Waves. Cycles. Spirals.   Patient. Present. Strong. Stable. Fluid. Fun.   Bitchy. Broken. Sensitive. Stuck. Wavering. Wondering…   When I rock the covid (the new lifesty, not the virus), I feel grounded and giving - a source of support. A resource of steadiness. A sorceress - alchemizing the situation. Bending the boundaries to tend with tenderness [...]

Corona School

Last week was harder.    By Thursday I woke up in the morning and I was a mean mommy.     I really tried not to be.    During the night and into the early morning Shefa wasn’t letting me sleep. He woke up so early and used his special rooster voice. That voice he likes to use on those really early mornings when I am especially exhausted.    Some mornings, even if he’s waaaaay too early to be awake, he [...]

Cosmic Love

Whether he dances in the forest of my heart, howls in the dark nights of my soul, meditates on mountain tops inside my head, retreats to his cave, takes the seat of the teacher, or roams the cremation grounds of my life’s deaths, Siva is by far my favorite masculine deity.    (not a gender thing, but rather a code, an energy, a coalition of qualities)    I am a sucker for metaphor. Myths and archetypes help me understand myself [...]