Awakening

Maha Shivaratri – Desire, Love, Devotion, Commitment, Freedom

I love a good holiday - one that invites us to contemplate deeply, to call for our inspiration, to bring form to our desires, to bring forth the expression of our deepest longing. Last night (and today) is one of my favorite holidays. It is Maha Shivaratri - the Great Night Of Shiva.   In India, this is a night of great celebration and deep meditation. The tradition is to fast and stay up all night, to commune with the [...]

Underworld Adventure

It’s been an intense year, and as it launches itself into the final stretch, it offers some relief, but still the bells of crazies ring loud.     The leaves change colors and fall off the trees, and the world darkens and quiets down and  cools off. We descend. Some of us hear the call to go into the inner spaces, into our roots. Down below the surfaces, deep, down, and in we go. We burrow with the scorpions.    It’s [...]

Broken With Golden Seams

I wake up in the mornings and I wonder - how could this dystopian sci-fi novel that we are living through get any crazier? There’s no way! And then it does. Every day holds another ridiculous twist in the plot, which makes this book seem so over the top. And then the psycho, comic book villain, ridiculous orange monster from the sewers is put on steroids. I mean…    Some days I feel drained. Like nothing is left in me [...]

In The Bog Of Determination

Somewhere between tenacious will power and sleepy eyes, between fierce desire accompanied by horse power determination, and spiraling down the road of 2020. Somewhere between a steadfast destination and the abyss beneath our feet.    Eyes tired. Chest tight. I breathe slowly and have another coffee, trying to stay awake for a little longer and get some work done. It’s not even the lack of sleep. I am usually an energy fireball. Give me coffee and I can move like [...]

Breakthroughs & Boundaries

In these last few months we have been given one opportunity after another to look at who we are, to ask ourselves who we want to become, to view the way things have been, and to reconsider our participation in this world.   In one way or another, we have been forced to pause. We have been invited into a space of self reflection.   In this pause we get to ask. We get to not know. We get to [...]

Waves Of Change

I clearly feel the transformation. It’s slow but hot. Smokey and non-linear.    I can’t help but seeing the opportunity that this crisis holds in its hands. “Here,” It says. “It’s not gonna seem like a gift. In fact, there’s gonna be some hell to burn through. But if you seize the opportunity, and unwrap the outer layers, and after a lot of suffering for a lot of people, you will unpack the box, you will find some new seeds [...]

Quarantine Queen

How are you feeling these days? Are you sinking into this time? Are you flowing with it? Rolling with the punches? Itching to spring out of it? Dreading what awaits on the other side?   I find myself NOT wanting to go back to “normal.”    Ever since quarantine began, I have been less stressed, less depressed, less on edge.   I feel guilty about it because so many people are suffering.   I miss my parents and my sister [...]

Corona Cocoon

From Quarantine Queen, Mindful Mother, Domestic Dame, Goofy Goddess, Mama Magic, to: “SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”   Waves. Cycles. Spirals.   Patient. Present. Strong. Stable. Fluid. Fun.   Bitchy. Broken. Sensitive. Stuck. Wavering. Wondering…   When I rock the covid (the new lifesty, not the virus), I feel grounded and giving - a source of support. A resource of steadiness. A sorceress - alchemizing the situation. Bending the boundaries to tend with tenderness [...]

Corona School

Last week was harder.    By Thursday I woke up in the morning and I was a mean mommy.     I really tried not to be.    During the night and into the early morning Shefa wasn’t letting me sleep. He woke up so early and used his special rooster voice. That voice he likes to use on those really early mornings when I am especially exhausted.    Some mornings, even if he’s waaaaay too early to be awake, he [...]

Reformation In Isolation

It was hard to get out of bed this morning. Dark and cold outside. I wanted to get up before everyone else, so that I can have a moment for myself to meditate, but it didn’t happen. So I meditated with the kids staring at me. They tried to be quiet, but most of the time they forgot about the quiet contract that they signed when they decided to sit on the couch in the living room while I meditated. [...]

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