Awakening

Breakthroughs & Boundaries

In these last few months we have been given one opportunity after another to look at who we are, to ask ourselves who we want to become, to view the way things have been, and to reconsider our participation in this world.   In one way or another, we have been forced to pause. We have been invited into a space of self reflection.   In this pause we get to ask. We get to not know. We get to [...]

Waves Of Change

I clearly feel the transformation. It’s slow but hot. Smokey and non-linear.    I can’t help but seeing the opportunity that this crisis holds in its hands. “Here,” It says. “It’s not gonna seem like a gift. In fact, there’s gonna be some hell to burn through. But if you seize the opportunity, and unwrap the outer layers, and after a lot of suffering for a lot of people, you will unpack the box, you will find some new seeds [...]

Quarantine Queen

How are you feeling these days? Are you sinking into this time? Are you flowing with it? Rolling with the punches? Itching to spring out of it? Dreading what awaits on the other side?   I find myself NOT wanting to go back to “normal.”    Ever since quarantine began, I have been less stressed, less depressed, less on edge.   I feel guilty about it because so many people are suffering.   I miss my parents and my sister [...]

Corona Cocoon

From Quarantine Queen, Mindful Mother, Domestic Dame, Goofy Goddess, Mama Magic, to: “SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE, AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”   Waves. Cycles. Spirals.   Patient. Present. Strong. Stable. Fluid. Fun.   Bitchy. Broken. Sensitive. Stuck. Wavering. Wondering…   When I rock the covid (the new lifesty, not the virus), I feel grounded and giving - a source of support. A resource of steadiness. A sorceress - alchemizing the situation. Bending the boundaries to tend with tenderness [...]

Corona School

Last week was harder.    By Thursday I woke up in the morning and I was a mean mommy.     I really tried not to be.    During the night and into the early morning Shefa wasn’t letting me sleep. He woke up so early and used his special rooster voice. That voice he likes to use on those really early mornings when I am especially exhausted.    Some mornings, even if he’s waaaaay too early to be awake, he [...]

Reformation In Isolation

It was hard to get out of bed this morning. Dark and cold outside. I wanted to get up before everyone else, so that I can have a moment for myself to meditate, but it didn’t happen. So I meditated with the kids staring at me. They tried to be quiet, but most of the time they forgot about the quiet contract that they signed when they decided to sit on the couch in the living room while I meditated. [...]

Weeds

She’s sitting on the bench by the dinning table, hair a little messy, lots of missing teeth, a crazy wide spread of artist markers - a hundred and twenty colors and shades, to be exact. She’s working on an elephant. Fifteen shades of gray. Muse-struck.    “Mama?” her eyes are focused on the curving lines of her elephant trunk.   “Yes, my love.”   “I have all these bad thoughts in my head.” The trunk she’s working on is playfully [...]

Cosmic Love

Whether he dances in the forest of my heart, howls in the dark nights of my soul, meditates on mountain tops inside my head, retreats to his cave, takes the seat of the teacher, or roams the cremation grounds of my life’s deaths, Siva is by far my favorite masculine deity.    (not a gender thing, but rather a code, an energy, a coalition of qualities)    I am a sucker for metaphor. Myths and archetypes help me understand myself [...]

Stir It Up – Imbolc Contemplation

It’s time to stir things up.    Earth is spinning and this northern half of the planet is beginning to receive more light. It grows slowly, not rushing in with bells on. It’s just slowly gaining momentum. With it comes hope. Once upon a time when we lived more attuned to the cycles of the planet, sunlight was  life force. We’re halfway through Winter, and halfway towards Spring. The sun is getting stronger. With it the earth regenerates life as [...]