Aging

Pixies & Purge

I am out in the back with the kids. They are playing with water and mud. Slippery and covered in childhood memories. The hot afternoon california Summer sun dancing on their faces with rays of youthful sparkles.    I am playing Pixies. The bluetooth speaker vibrating in the cup holder of my camp chair. “Hey! Been trying to meet you... Oooo ooo oooo ooo ooo…” Memories of cold nights on platform shoes, outside the clubs in Jerusalem of the 90’s.  [...]

When Epic Turns Subtle

I used to practice a few hours a day. Every day. Deep backbends. Arm-balances galore. Most of my day was spent upside down. Hip openers and forward bends took me into the eye of the storm that was me. I’d get high on oxygen with all that pranayama. I’d drive around town and take multiple classes a day with amazing teachers. I drank in the yoga, not in goblets, but in buckets. It was profound.     Sometimes I’d get a [...]

Falling

Fall Equinox is upon us! The first day of Autumn. A moment of balance between day and night. A celebration of harvest. A holiday of letting go.   Fall teaches us to fall apart. Gracefully. To release what we tighten ourselves around. To let go of what lets go of us. To shed layers that no longer belong to our path. To free up some space as we rid ourselves of old ways. It takes time before renewal takes place. [...]

When The World Breaks Inside Your Heart

The Amazon forest is burning and there’s nothing I can do about it. Tears in my throat. Smoke in my eyes. I feel so angry. Furious. Depressed. Suffocated by the inability to do anything. Petitions. Prayers. Whatever, right? It’s exhausting to marvel at how powerless we are.   It seems as though the Bolsonaros and the Trumps and the Netanyahus of the world are winning.   I’ve always been a doubter, cynical, a bit edgy, and a little jaded. But [...]

Living With Intention. And Totally Winging It.

My friend was wrapping a pink ribbon around a flower crown. “I don’t think about it too much, I just live.” She said. I felt a little surprised by that statement. Especially because, well, I do. “Omg! I think about it so much!” I said. I felt myself judging myself for being the way that I am. I thought: “She must think I’m such a freak!” I kind of am.   I don’t think about this often, but I do [...]

Inspiring Death

There are people that inspire you even through their death. Rare souls that manage to make death seem manageable. Or beautiful. Holy. Sacred. Beings that gift you the secret of life as they transition into what comes next. Maybe you were so lucky to have them swim close to you in the ocean of your life. They were your people. And their presence was always awe inspiring for you. And also your everyday reality. And maybe they were just a [...]

Changing Landscapes

As we drove up the mountain, watching the landscape change rapidly – from golden California brush, with a splash of green here and there, to greener and greener carpets of trees and meadows covering the dramatic rise of the Sierras – I became present to the changing landscape of my life.   In the back seat a fifteen months old baby, on the verge of falling asleep, crying the last few tears of a long stretch of tiredness and screaming, [...]

Obviously aging is a privilege

Obviously.   Obviously aging beats the alternative.   Obviously aging is a privilege. A luxury. The gift of life itself.   Obviously the beauty myth lives strongly in our culture, and the idea that youth is superior to aging permeates every nook and cranny of modern society.   Obviously this shit messes with our heads.   But isn’t it also natural to grieve the end of a life phase, and the death of a major part of our identity?   [...]