This morning the kids were fighting during yoga. Kesem was really upset because Shefa wasn’t practicing with us. She cried and yelled. He wanted to do his own thing and she couldn’t accept it.

 

They played beautifully later. She read to him. And they built things. They made art. They hugged a lot. 

 

We still have lots of food. Although I’m starting to feel Anxious about what’s coming next. Will the stores stay open? The box of vegetables I ordered and was supposed to get here today is delayed. They are swamped with orders and new customers. 

 

Like every day this week, we did homeschooling, and it is just so cool to see how Kesem is evolving in math and in reading and writing. She’s really learning. 

 

A childhood friend messaged me about a dance class that Debbie Allen was giving on IG live. I was so excited! I tried to take the class, but shefa needed a nap. So after a few isolations I retreated to the bedroom and nursed my almost three year old to sleep, while listening to a Sci-Fi dystopian novel by Octavia E. Butler. 

 

I don’t mind the isolation. I kinda like it. I’ve been in touch with dear friends. And I’m really loving this spacious new reality. I’m worried about the kids though. Kids need the company of other kids. And even though they seem totally content with the situation so far, I wonder how it will affect them in the long run. 

 

I wonder how all of this will affect the long run. 

 

I got upset with them in the afternoon because I wanted to take them out on a walk and they weren’t cooperating with me when I was trying to help them get ready. I asked so many times. I was kind and sweet and patient. Not firm enough, I guess, because they didn’t listen at all. I look back and I see that in the moment they were just playing, and being silly, and moving through their own world. But trying to get a three year old dressed is like herding cats. And when a seven year old plays with him and tickles him and makes him more riled up, it becomes truly impossible. So I lost my patience. I hate when I lose my patience. And I keep having to learn to forgive myself.  

 

Our walk was stunning. Oh! The blue sky of clean air after LA had some rain, with thick layers of clouds painting it gray and white, is just so refreshing and beautiful. The green of the trees has been extra green in the last few days. Spring is here. 

 

I made a yummy dinner- red beans, kale, and thinly cut sweet potatoes fried in coconut oil. It was delicious. 

 

And I did get to write after they went to sleep. I still don’t get to even a fraction of what I set up for myself. There’s so much I want to do. I want to share more. I want to make people laugh. I want to help people get grounded. I want to remind them of their access to their courage. 

 

So much to do. 

 

But for now, I have to go to sleep. These days are full. Beautiful. Filled with all kinds of uncertainty. Better rest up a bit before a new dawn arises. Before the demands of another day pushes to deal with more unexpected new pieces of information, and more things to do to get ready for more uncertainty.