Life Purpose

Your Calling

I hear the call: “Mama!” Coming from the bedroom. It’s almost 9pm. I just finished cleaning. I’m having my evening coffee and finally sitting down to write.   “MAMA!"   It has only been an hour since I transferred him to his bed from our cuddle pile.    I’m feeling resistant. Common, title dude! I need a minute! I was with you all day. I’ve been ON. You’re a toddler. It’s non stop. Give mama a break, will you? I [...]

The Space Between Head And Tail

It’s the time of year when this sentence echoes in my head: May we be the head and not the tail. Lead your life. Don’t follow. Think things through. Don’t just string along. Be the commander. Be in charge. Be empowered. I’m in Tel Aviv with the kids at the moment. We’re here to support my sister on the beginning of her journey as a mother. It has been years since the last time I celebrated Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year’s [...]

Every Schlep Of The Way

Sharing the great outdoors with the kiddos is amazing!   Yes – it’s schlep-mania all the way through – from prepping and packing and cooking, through being there and making sure the toddler stays alive, and staying warm at night, making sure the dog doesn’t freeze to death (when you check the forecast and it shows a low of 55 but it ends up being a low of 34), making sure everyone stays hydrated, feeding everyone, cleaning up, hiking (even [...]

Living With Intention. And Totally Winging It.

My friend was wrapping a pink ribbon around a flower crown. “I don’t think about it too much, I just live.” She said. I felt a little surprised by that statement. Especially because, well, I do. “Omg! I think about it so much!” I said. I felt myself judging myself for being the way that I am. I thought: “She must think I’m such a freak!” I kind of am.   I don’t think about this often, but I do [...]

Inspiring Death

There are people that inspire you even through their death. Rare souls that manage to make death seem manageable. Or beautiful. Holy. Sacred. Beings that gift you the secret of life as they transition into what comes next. Maybe you were so lucky to have them swim close to you in the ocean of your life. They were your people. And their presence was always awe inspiring for you. And also your everyday reality. And maybe they were just a [...]

Changing Landscapes

As we drove up the mountain, watching the landscape change rapidly – from golden California brush, with a splash of green here and there, to greener and greener carpets of trees and meadows covering the dramatic rise of the Sierras – I became present to the changing landscape of my life.   In the back seat a fifteen months old baby, on the verge of falling asleep, crying the last few tears of a long stretch of tiredness and screaming, [...]

The Shape Of Muse

Muse.   The queen of creativity. The master of inspiration. The breath of life within the soul of an artist.   At the end of a full day of homemaking, and holding, and breastfeeding, and laughing, and playing, and cooking, and cleaning, and attending to meltdowns, and loving like there’s no tomorrow, and forgetting to smile, and turning my head so they won’t see me cry, and running around like a maniac, and organizing, and failing, and feeling time slipping [...]

You Are Timeless

You are timeless. Infinite. Eternal.   But you look in the mirror and there are lines that show the sign of the passing time. There’s a wrinkle in time. Many wrinkles, in fact. And that spacious conversation about eternality you had with yourself during meditation earlier this morning is erased. Fuck! You are definitely finite.   You make another cup of coffee so you can keep up with your to do list. You’re not even getting to your to do [...]

Right Now

Right now you might be in the midst of it all. Laundry. Dishes. Bedtime. Snuggles. Homework. Cooking. Breastfeeding. Cleaning.   Right now you might feel like none of the things you thought your life was going to be about is lived through.   Right now it might seem like you are never going to be who you thought you were going to be.   Right now you might be picking up some toys off of the living room floor. Or [...]

INTEGRATE

I wanted to wish you a happy day of love, and send you a red heart emoji. But the heart emoji is now replaced with one of a broken heart. As another case of gun violence unfolds into an epic tragedy, I sit here, surrounded by children's art of hearts, with a baby on the boob and a child on my lap, my life is golden, swelling with love, and I cannot help the feelings of devastation, deep sadness, raging [...]

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